A Hole in the Ground
by Reading Ella
Summary: Oh, they had better have a good explanation for this. How in the name of Camelot had Merlin, five knights, and King Arthur himself, ended up stuck in an abandoned hunting trap in the middle of the woods? Light, silly, borderline crack!fic.
1. Merlin and Arthur

a/n: I'm warning you now that this fic will be rather ridiculous. I believe they call them crack!fics. So please don't take me too seriously. Enjoy.

* * *

Gaius sighed with exasperation. Oh, they had better have a good explanation for this. How in the name of Camelot had Merlin, five knights, and King Arthur himself, ended up stuck in an abandoned hunting trap in the middle of the woods? He harrumphed in annoyance as he packed up his kit and headed out to the stables. As he rode out of front gates, following Guinevere to the scene of the incident, the physician prepared a lecture that the boys would never forget.

* * *

One Day Earlier:

Ordinarily Merlin's propensity to trip on things was merely an inconvenience, but this was getting ridiculous. Arthur was sure he had stopped a hundred times today to wait for his manservant to pick himself up off the forest floor or untangle himself from brambles. In fact, if he had to wait for Merlin one more time he swore he would ––a gigantic crash from behind him broke into his frustrated thoughts.

"Merlin!" he shouted, without bothering to turn around. "Is it in any way possible for you to use a little more of your clearly limited mind to watch where you're going?

There was no answer.

"Merlin?"

The King turned and was surprised to find that his servant was nowhere to be seen. He glanced around and saw nothing except a hole in the ground surrounded by leaves. Wait. There was also one of his packs on the ground next to the hole. One that Merlin had been carrying. Merlin probably fell in. His guess was confirmed when a slightly muffled voice asked "Where did the woods go?"

"You fell into a hunting trap, you cabbage-head! Can you climb back up?"

"No. The walls are too steep."

"Fantastic. I'll have to rescue you."

Arthur stepped closer and looked over the edge at Merlin. The pit trap had to be nearly fifteen feet deep and at least five feet across. Merlin was lucky he hadn't broken his neck falling that far. As Arthur stood on the edge, considering the best way to get his friend out, the edge of the hole, eroded as it was, crumbled away under his foot.

CRASH!

Luckily for Arthur, Merlin cushioned his fall.

Once they were disentangled from each other, the men realized their predicament.

"Great," said Merlin. "Just great. Given the size of the woods, and the relative invisibility of pit traps, how long do you think it will be before someone finds us?"


	2. Gwaine

Merlin had nearly dozed off from sheer boredom, but he was instantly alert at the faint crunching sound of footsteps on a forest floor.

"Arthur." he whispered, shaking his friend. "Arthur, wake up."

"What is it?" asked the King.

"I hear footsteps." he said, then shouted "Hello! We're over here!"

Arthur smacked him on the head.

"What are you doing, idiot!" Arthur hissed. "It could a bandit."

"At this point I wouldn't mind being rescued by Morgana. Anyway, it's too late now."

And he was right. The footsteps drew nearer and nearer. Then a familiar face peeked over the edge of the hole.

"Arthur? Merlin?" asked Gwaine incredulously. "Why are you in a hole?"

"Well, thanks to Merlin here we both fell in."

"Hey, you fell in all on your own, Arthur. I had nothing to do with it."

"If you weren't such a clumsy dollop-head in the first place..."

"That's my word. The only dollop-head here is you."

"I'll just leave to let you sort out your problems then." said Gwaine. He began to walk away.

"No!" shouted Arther and Merlin in unison.

Gwaine feigned hurt. "Your lack of trust is astounding."

"That was just cruel." complained Merlin.

Gwaine grinned and searched for a way to get them out. It was too far to just reach. He didn't have any rope. Aha! A sturdy tree branch would do it. Gwaine lay down and hooked his foot under a protruding tree root to avoid falling in. However, his efforts were in vain. Just as he had begun to hoist Arthur up he heard an ominous snap. The root broke and Arthur's weight pulled him down into the trap as well. Fortunately for them Merlin was there to break the fall again.

* * *

a/n: Another chapter! I really hope this is as much fun to read as it is to write :D Any requests for the next knight to find the trap?


	3. Leon

a/n: I'm sorry for the amount of logic blatantly ignored in this story. In reality, Merlin would probably do some sneaky magic and get them out of there. But for the sake of the characters' inconvenience you'll have to let it go XD Also, thank you to _MinistryOfMagic13_ for suggesting Leon as the next knight!

**Guest****:** Thank you for reviewing! One more knight, you say? We'll see how that works out for them *evil laugh* And I hope no animals fall in. Haha. That would be bad, just a random deer falling on them.

* * *

"Sorry mate," said Gwaine, helping Merlin to his feet and dusting him off.

"Oof. Don't worry about it."

Arthur spoke. "I think the real thing to worry about, is the fact that now we're _all_ trapped."

"I was with a patrol." said Gwaine. "I'm sure they'll go through this part of the woods. Eventually."

"They had better," said Arthur.

Gwaine sat down and crossed his legs comfortably. "While we're here, I might as well tell you about the time I upset a woman and she threw a barrel of pickled fish at me. Most women wouldn't have been able to lift it but this one sure could. You should have seen her biceps..."

* * *

Two hours later Arthur was in a foul mood. _Anyone who says cheerfulness is contagious,_ he thought, _clearly hasn't met these two._

Merlin and Gwaine were happily talking, and grinning like they were at the tavern they spent so much time at, and not stuck in a pit trap in the woods. And Arthur was hungry. By now it was a few hours past lunch, and the pack with the food was the one Merlin had dropped above ground. Arthur clearly wasn't the only one who was hungry because at that moment Merlin's stomach growled loudly.

"Maybe I have food." said Gwaine, checking his pockets. "Nope sorry. No food. But the good news is, I have my hornpipe!"

A hornpipe is a musical instrument that doesn't sound particularly good, even when played by an expert. Gwaine wasn't an expert. Before anyone could stop him, he took a deep breath and began to play. It wasn't really clear what he was playing. Maybe it was that sea shanty he had sung at the tavern last Tuesday, or the drinking song he had sung the week before. Or perhaps he was trying to imitate the stray cat that had taken to yowling on the wall lately.

Whatever it was, Arthur had half a mind to snap the pipe in half. Merlin must have sensed his train of thought because he nudged the king's shoulder.

"Let him keep going. Someone might hear and come rescue us," Merlin whispered.

* * *

Sir Leon was strolling along, looking for the missing member of his patrol. The group had split up to look for poachers in the area, and Gwaine hadn't returned. It had been such a long time that Leon began to suspect the man had been kidnapped.

The knight froze when he heard a distant but terrible noise. It was the unmistakable sound of Gwaine playing "music" with the hornpipe he insisted on carrying around. Leon followed the screeching to a small break in the trees, but saw nobody, just some fallen leaves and an abandoned pack.

"Gwaine?" he called. The music stopped.

"What's wrong?" asked a familiar voice. "Do you want me to play something else?"

"Where are you?"

"Down here!" answered a voice that sounded like King Arthur's.

It was then that Leon noticed the trap. But was it a trap for him? He dropped to his hands and knees and crawled cautiously to the edge.

"Gwaine?" he asked incredulously, "Merlin? Sire? What are you doing down there?"

"We're just having a party." said Gwaine. "Nice of you to drop by."

"We fell in." Arthur sighed. "Care to give us a hand?"

"Certainly sire, but I can't reach, and I haven't any rope. I'll go find a branch to pull you up."

"That might be risky," warned Merlin. "It's how Gwaine fell in in the first place."

"Hmm."

Silence fell as the men considered their options.

"I know!" cried Merlin. "We can climb on each other's shoulders and Leon can lift us out."

"No, no." said Arthur. "That's a terrible idea. Wait, I know! What if we climb on each other's shoulders and Leon lifts us out?"

Merlin gritted his teeth. "What a great idea. How do you think of these things, my lord?"

"I'm a genius."

"Merlin's probably the lightest." Leon pointed out. "He could climb on your shoulders, Sire."

"Alright. Help me Gwaine."

After a bit of awkward maneuvering, a lot of balancing, two falls, and one instance of Merlin's foot getting in Arthur's mouth, Merlin was kneeling precariously on Arthur's shoulders.

Leon reached down and grasped his wrists.

"Ready?"

"Just hurry up!" yelled Arthur. "He's heavier than he looks."

Leon tightened his grip and lifted.

"Wait!" cried Arthur. "I'm going to–_ah_..._ah...ATCHOOOO_!"

The force of his sneeze caused him to lose balance, and he fell, pulling Merlin and Leon down with him. They all tumbled to the floor of the pit.

"Bless you, Sire." said Leon.

* * *

a/n: I sincerely apologize if you like hornpipes, or play one.


End file.
